“Hey, English princess: how’s it going?” I read on my phone as I ride through London on an open-top double-decker bus, soaking in the spring sun. I’m here for work. During the ride, I take in everything I see: the bustling streets, the red telephone booths, and the vast, bright green parks. My thoughts drift back to his question—a question with a depth I understood immediately, since he was there: the week before.
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Horror is real and Runnaway train shows that – without leaving it to the imagination.
“Good morning, Golden Morning” – With a breezy jolly pace, radio DJ Marisa greets her listeners and then pronounces the name of the song she just played for ‘just woken up’ Holland. “Runnaway train by Soul Asylum; that was a big hit in 1993” and then we move on to the next track for us radiolisteners. With a knot in my stomach and tears behind my eye sockets, I sit in the car, not yet ready for the upbeat note that has now begun. My mind, thinking in pictures, colors, smells and empathy, still lingers on the runaway train.
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A rastaman steps towards me, singing, accompanied by his guitar. Coincidence? Or does that not exist, and is this just another one of the synchronicities I often experience? He’s singing ‘No Woman No Cry’ by Bob Marley and looks at me. Damn, that hits me! Does he see that I’m crying? Nah. My tears are the kind you swallow. You know the ones. The tears you hold back because if you let them go at that moment, you know it won’t be okay anymore.
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The day starts badly because I knew exactly why I had gotten up. Not just any shitty Monday. Not even “Manic Monday” by The Bangles, where you’re walking under ladders, dodging falling paint cans, and nearly tripping over a black cat: meow. No, on this day, my bad luck wasn’t random—it was planned. Monday, November 1st, 1999: the day that would change my life forever—though I didn’t know how at the time.
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My father was a pirate. Traveling across seas, he chased his dreams and treasures, avoiding responsibility. My mother was a hippie. Dancing, she escaped from her memories and embraced love beyond herself.
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